Some people just can’t take a joke.
Others believe that even the best joke wears off eventually – can’t argue with that really.
Oh, who cares?
Those delivered by Steel Panther are far from being stale. The following (fictitious?) dialogue between Michael Starr and a Patrol Officer for example, had me on stitches!
 

Michael Starr: Oh shit, I’m getting pulled over again…
Ah, I better chug these beers, where’s those pills?
Cop: Sir, do you realize you were going 25mph on the freeway back there?
Michael Starr: Well what’s the fucking speed limit, 15?
Cop: Smart ass!
Cop: Sir, do you have any Warrants?
Michael Starr: I got their first CD, but you can’t have it motherfucker!
[tires screeching] Later!
Cop: I got a 5150 on a 2112, I’m following a 1984 yellow Camaro.
Suspect looks like a chubby David Lee Roth…
Scratch that, more like a skinny version of Vince Neil!

 
Speaking of jokes, here’s one -the ULTIMATE- that will FOREVER crack me up:
[Combines my two favorite topics, music and obscene language/profanities in conjunction with Tourette Syndrome]
 

An out of work pianist with Tourette’s Syndrome is strolling around the streets and bars of Soho one unemployed afternoon.
Walking down Dean Street he sees a lounge bar with a sign in the window “Pianist wanted for evening performances”.

“Fucking get in there you cunt!” he says to himself and goes to the bar.
“Get the fucking manager of this pigs shit middle class wankhole please you cunt”, he says to a somewhat startled barman.
The barman however obliges and his manager comes upstairs.
“Can I help you sir?” he says.
“Yes you can you fat piece of shit, I saw your poxy advert in the cunting window and I’m here to audition… Wanker”.
The manager is naturally put off by the man’s abrasive manner but his dire need for a top class pianist forces him to agree to an audition.

The first tune the Pianist plays is an uplifting jazzy number, not too involving, yet utterly melodic.
At the end the thrilled barman cries, “Wonderful, wonderful! What was that called?”
“That song was called “Excuse me Prime Minister, but I just jizzed in your daughter’s eye, and now the cunt’s blind…”

“Oh” says the manager, “Err, can you play me another? Something a little less *lively*”.
“Wanker” interjects the pianist before launching into a powerful ballad which leaves the manager in tears.
The manager through his salty teardrops asks him the title.
“That little number was called “Sometimes when you do a bird up the shit box you get crap on your bell end”.
“I see” says the manager, “Have you got any songs with less offensive titles?”
“Well there’s my jazz number “Do you want me to split your ringpiece”, or there’s the epic “I don’t care if you’re older my dear, you’ve still got nice jugs”.
“Look” says the manager interrupting, “I think you’re a superb pianist but the title of your songs are a little *racy*. I will hire you on the condition that you do not introduce your songs or speak to the audience.”
“Fuck it” says the pianist “Why not”.

On his first night everything is going superbly the crowd are lapping up his repertoire and his silence is being received as modesty.
The only thing putting off the pianist is that in the front row there is a gorgeous blonde in a black evening dress with a split up the side revealing the tops of her stockings, and a plunging neckline which boasts a proud and inviting cleavage.
During the interval the pianist has got such a stonking hard on that he decides to go to the bog and knock one out.
Just as he has shot his muck he hears himself being re-introduced over the tannoy, so he rushes back to the stage and finishes his act.

After the show he is at the bar relaxing when the blonde approaches him.
“Hi” she says.
“Hello” he winces, struggling to hold in the expletives.
She leans over and whispers in his ear, “Do you know your cock is hanging out of your trousers, and spunk is dribbling onto your shoes?”
“Know it?” says the pianist putting his beer on the bar confidently, “I fucking wrote it!”

 
Am I (that) shallow?
 
On a strictly musical level -yeah, there’s that too in case you forgot- the best songs are the ones closing the album.
“Critter” & “Let me cum in” are the catchiest tunes of all.

8★ out of 10 – as good as “Feel the steel”

Steel Panther on Wikipedia
“Balls out” on RateYourMusic
“Balls out” on Discogs

Record Label: Universal Republic Records/Universal Music Canada
Catalogue Number: B001613302
UPC: 602527832609
Mastering SID Code: IFPI L387
Matrix/Runout [Outer Ring]: B001613302 #111005Y03 11
Matrix/Runout [Inner Ring]: MADE IN CANADA 10
Mould SID Code: IFPI 6000

Tracklist:
01. In the future [1:28]
02. Supersonic sex machine [3:10]
03. Just like Tiger Woods [3:41]
04. 17 girls in a row [3:41]
05. If you really really love me [2:25]
06. It won’t suck itself [2:54]
07. Tomorrow night [2:58]
08. Why can’t you trust me [4:01]
09. That’s what girls are for [3:39]
10. Gold digging whore [3:54]
11. I like drugs [4:19]
12. Critter [3:38]
13. Let me cum in [3:29]
14. Weenie ride [4:20]
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
*Legal Disclaimer*

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